Prepared by: Dr. Saeed Ismaeel Sin
Why Can a Man Marry up to Four Wives?
The issue of Islam permitting a man to marry up to four wives provided that he is fair to them all was looked at as a negative thing especially from the women’s perspective. But what are the facts? Allah says: {Marry of your choice two or three or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal with them justly, then only one}[1]. Not only that, but Allah warns: {You will never be able to show perfect justice between wives, so do not incline too much to one of them.}[2]
However, looking at this issue with an open mind, especially the unmarried females will not only find it a positive law, but also a Divine gift! This is for the following reasons:
1. It is obvious that females out number males in the world. This means if we have only one wife for each man, then there will be no chance for many women to get married.
2. It is a Divine gift because if the chance for a female to get married is to one, by allowing men to marry up to four makes the chance she will get married four fold. A female may say: “I do not need this opportunity.” It is all right for her to say that, but she should remember that no one can force her to take it, and the opportunity is there in case she needs it.
3. Logically, to share a husband with other wives and to have clear-cut moral and legal rights along with the chance for safely satisfying sexual drive and motherhood instinct is better than missing out on any of these. It is also better than expressing her sexual instinct illegally, not only by being deprived of many advantages a married woman has if she did so, but also being burdened with the numerous responsibilities a single mother has. In addition to that, she will also be more subject to humiliation and exploitation by men.
As far as married women are concerned, it is natural that they may cast a scornful look at this kind of law, at first. But is it really that bad? I assume we agree that without this permission of polygamy there would be more unmarried women. This means the unmarried women will compete harder to get married, possibly going to the lengths of getting a married woman divorced by the man she is interested in. In fact, many women recognize that secret illegal relations are threatening many families who are used to the peaceful nests that happily married couples, usually, make. This is especially true in the societies where females are allowed to reveal their beauties including the most attractive parts. Therefore, allowing men to marry more than one woman will help the married women to keep their husbands and homes better.
Also related to this issue, a woman may ask: “Why are women not allowed to marry more than one man?” The question, at first glance, seems logical. But to be realistic, let us ask what women would gain from such opportunity? Would it – in the long run - secure her a man who will be next to her when she needs him, especially if she has no money or when she becomes sick? Would it secure her a responsible husband and a responsible father for her children?
In reality, the most probable answer is a big NO. One of the major reasons for this answer is because this kind of relationship would be a good opportunity for men to relieve themselves of the responsibility of being fathers and to hang this responsibility on the mothers’ shoulder due to the uncertainty about who the actual father was.[3]
[1] Holy Quraan, 4:3
[2] Holy Quraan, 4:3
[3] See other reasons in the discussion of the penalty of adultery
