Compiled by: Abdurahim bin Mizhir Almalki
The story of how I reverted to Islam is a story of plans. I made plans, the group I was with made plans, and Allah made plans. And Allah is the Best of Planners. When I was a teenager, I came to attention of a group of people with a sinister agenda. They were and probably still are a loose association of individuals who work in government positions but have a special agenda – to destroy Islam. It is not a government group that I was aware of, they simply use their position in the U.S. government to advance their cause.
One member of this group approached me because he saw that I was articulated, motivated and very much the women’s rights advocate. He told me that if I studied International Relations with an emphasis in the Middle East, he would guarantee me a job at the American Embassy in Egypt. He wanted me to eventually go there to use my position in the country to talk to Muslim women and encourage the fledgling women’s right movement. I thought this was a great idea. I had seen the Muslim women on TV; I knew they were a poor oppressed group, and I wanted to lead them to the light of 20th century freedom.
With this intention I went to college and began my education. I studied the Qur’an, hadith and Islamic history. I also studied ways I could use this information. I learned how to twist words to say what I wanted them to say. It was a valuable tool. Once I started learning, however, I began to be intrigued by the Islamic message. It made sense. That was scary. Therefore, in order to counteract this effect, I began to take classes in Christianity. I chose to take classes from a professor on campus who had a good reputation and a Ph.D. in Theology from Harvard University. I felt I was in good hands. I was, but not for the reasons I thought. It turns out he was a Unitarian Christian. He did not believe in the trinity or the divinity of Jesus. In actuality, he believed that Jesus was a Prophet.
He proceeded to prove this by taking the Bible from its sources in Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic and show where they changed. As he did this, he showed the historical events which shaped and followed these changes. By the time I finished the class, my religion had been destroyed, but I was still not ready to accept Islam. As time went on, I continued to study, for myself and for my future career. This took about three years. In this time I would question Muslims about their beliefs. One of the individuals I questioned was a Muslim brother with the Muslim Student Association. Al-hamdulillah, he saw my interest in the religion and made it a personal effort to educate me about Islam. (May Allah increase his reward.) He made da’wah to me at every opportunity which presented itself.
One day the brother contacted me and told me about a group who were in town visiting. He wanted me to meet them, and I agreed. I went to meet with them after ‘isha prayer. I was led to a room with at least twenty men. They all made space for me to sit, and I was placed faced to face with an elderly Pakistani gentleman. This brother was very knowledgeable man in matters of Christianity.
He and I discussed and argued varying parts of the Bible and the Qur’an until dawn. At this point, after having listened to this wise man tell me what I already knew based on the class I had taken in Christianity he did what no other individual had ever done. He invited me to become Muslim. In the three years I had been searching and researching, no one had ever invited me. I had been taught, argued with and even insulted, but never invited. (May Allah guide us all.) When he invited me, it clicked.
I realized this was the time. I knew it was the truth, and I had to make a decision. Al-hamdulillah, Allah opened my heart, and I said, “Yes. I want to be Muslim.” With that, he led me in the shahadah. I swear by Allah that when I took the shahadah, I felt the strangest sensation. I felt as if a huge, physical weight had just been lifted off my chest; I gasped for breath as if I were breathing for the first time in my life.
Al-hamdulillah, Allah had given me a new life, a clean slate, a chance for Paradise. And I pray that I live the rest of my days and die as Muslim. Ameen.